Sweet Swell

Drifting, drifting,

And yet lilting and wilting and coasting, too. Pushed and pulled by this monstrous swell, and dragged back under the blue. 

I’m never sure I can feel it approach, like a lioness masked downwind, prowling in the Serengeti plains.

And yet I feel it’s claws sink in, the teeth pierce the prickled hairs standing to attention, the pain lasting for days. 

What wicked creator would trouble me so, be it magical or scientific or will we ever know? To burden and begrudge me respite and peace?

Sleep saw it coming and ran for the hills! A pillar of strength you were, my slumbering chum, you’ve been AWOL for weeks!

A miserable comfort settles gently on my chest, weighing but a feather’s whisper at first. But it outstays the welcome I gestured (of course),

And I can’t get rid so easily for it now weighs as much as the Titanic that sunk & I’m sinking as well and I’m shit out of luck

And the ache is a swell all of its own that moans and groans and wants me to know that it’s there,


I’m not letting go!” it cries.

Pitiless and eager and willing to show, meandering & mooning its face in the damp evening glow. 

Swell, sweep me under and keep me there please. I know I can’t breathe but at least I’m at peace.


I don’t think there is a word that inspires more fear, worry and despair in people when they hear it. Whether you’ve experienced it personally or know someone that’s gone through it, it’s probably had an impact on you. 1 in 3 people will get cancer in their lifetime and we hear about it nearly every day; it’s on the telly, the radio, in things we read and in conversations in the street. Read More

The Problem With Schools

Today, the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom has ruled that a father should pay a fine for taking his child on holiday during school term time. The BBC covered the story which you can read here – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-39504338 – which goes into detail about the case. It got me thinking about schools and how they work in general.

The main thing I disagree with in this article is where it suggests that if you get poor GCSE’s it will have a lasting effect on your life chances.
Your GCSE’s and A-Levels are not the be all and end all of your life! They’re archaic and, with particular focus on GCSE’s, they’re more like a memory test than actually a measure of your capabilities as a human being. The whole school system needs a massive overhaul to move away from trying to hit targets and be the top of leader tables and do what schools are there to do in the first place; prepare young adults for the real world. 
I can’t recall the last time I used something I learned in school in my life recently (with the exception of maths and English) and to allude to a quote by Einstein (I believe it was him) “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it would look pretty stupid”.
Not everyone learns at the same pace or is interested in the same things and everyone learns differently as well! Using the same examination and grading process for everyone doesn’t work and more needs to be done to highlight this.

Find Hope. Nurture Hope. Hold On To Hope.

It’s the end of OCD Action’s Week of Action and I really wanted this post to be positive, happy, encouraging and inspirational. I know how hard it can be when you’re dealing with OCD and just how much it can take it out of you. My aim with this post was to provide an escape, a release from your worries and fears. Alas, I feel like I would be a liar and a fraud if I went against everything I stand for and wrote something that wasn’t a true reflection of how I’m feeling. I hark on about honesty all of the god damn time, and if I can’t be honest with myself, if I can’t be honest with you guys, then there’s no point in me doing any of this.

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OCD Week of Action – 20th – 26th of Feb – 2017

Every year, OCD Action sets aside a week to intensively tackle the stigma that surrounds OCD, focusing on taking action in any way possible. This includes, but is not limited to; fundraising individually or as a group by completing a physical activity or hosting an event or, on a smaller but no less important scale, having a difficult conversation with a family member or friend about OCD and breaking the ice. OCD Action doesn’t just work for everyone impacted by OCD in this week alone, but it is a great opportunity for the attention to be on this mental illness and get people working together.

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Cake, Pizza & Fighting OCD

When I woke up his morning, I thought today was going to be a total non-starter. I had an intangible list of things I wanted to do but the harder I thought about doing them, the more I focused on the details, the further away they seemed to retreat.

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Thank you for being patient with me…

I hate myself at times, when my OCD pulls me to my lowest ebb. In those moments when I snap and spit frustration and anger at the people who love me most. Like a tiger backed into a corner by its tormentors, OCD sets me on edge. The slightest ripple in the air sparks an instant flow of venom to my tongue and I lash out. 

To all those that are kind, to the people who sit next to me after I’ve reacted poorly, to the people who love me;

Thank you for being patient with me. I love you ❤

LUSH Exposed Over and Over


Unless you live like a Neanderthal, you’ll all be familiar with LUSH and the heavenly scented goodness that they bestow upon us, not to mention all of their work for animal welfare and charity. However, I never thought that purchasing from the cosmetics company would gift me with an opportunity to challenge my OCD.

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Book Review: The Goldfish Boy

It would be a great disservice to dismiss The Goldfish Boy as merely a detective-come-mystery adventure with a ‘touch of OCD’ thrown it for good measure, for it is so much more than that. Not only does it engage you with a captivating storyline, it gives you a literal and metaphorical window to peer through in which you bear witness to the deepest, darkest moments of despair in Matthew Corbin’s life at the hands (ironically) of OCD.

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